Upcoming Lacrosse Movies

As you may be aware, a movie about lacrosse is in the works, called Crooked Arrows. What you may not know is that there are a number of other lacrosse-based movies being talked about in Hollywood, and here at In Lax We Trust, we have the inside scoop on a few of them.

Loose Balls: The Jim Veltman Story

In a world where having loose balls is a good thing, one man will take the sport of lacrosse to a new level. He will never be the fastest player, the highest scoring player, the toughest player, or even the most graceful player, but his competitiveness, skill, and leadership will make those around him better. He will win more championships than anyone, collect more loose balls than anyone, be the most respected player in his sport, and leave the game on his own terms. That one man is Jim Veltman.

In the motion picture event of the year, Ryan Stiles stars as Jim Veltman in Loose Balls: The Jim Veltman Story. Also starring Tobey Maguire as Josh Sanderson, Bruce Willis as Blaine Manning, and Gary Burghoff as Aaron Wilson.

The Gaits of Heaven

After moving from Victoria, British Columbia to Syracuse, New York, twin brothers take the lacrosse world by storm, and then confuse people by constantly swapping jerseys. Hijinks ensue.

Starring Gary Gait as Paul Gait, and Paul Gait as Gary Gait. Or maybe the other way around.

Peril in Portland

Starts off as a romantic comedy about the female owner of a pro lacrosse team who falls in love with one of the players on her team and marries him. The film later turns into an exciting action-adventure when the GM trades the player away for a third-round draft pick and the enraged owner hunts him down in a high-speed chase through the streets of Portland.

Starring Jessica Alba as Angela Batinovich and Steve Buscemi as Adam Bysouth.

The Twilight Saga: Night Moves

The popular series continues as Jacob, along with other members of his tribe, forms a lacrosse team called the La Push Wolves, and Bella and her friends become fans of the team. Jealous, Edward and his fellow vampires form a competing team called the Forks Bloodsuckers, and are instantly contacted by the NALL to join their league solely because of the team's name. In a twist that I'm sure none of the audience members will see coming, the Wolves and the 'Suckers meet for the league championship.

Can the Wolves use their superhuman strength and healing powers to beat a team of lightning-fast immortals? Can a lacrosse team from the Pacific Northwest actually have "fans"? Will Bella finally decide between the dog and the (un)dead guy? Does anyone care anymore?

Mark Steenhuis

Send in the Clowns

Mark Steenhuis is traded to the Colorado Mammoth, where he and Connor Martin fight crime during the day and play lacrosse at night. Hijinks ensue.

(Note: the original premise was to have Martin traded to the Bandits and ask Darris Kilgour if his band could play during halftime at Bandits games. But to avoid being too far-fetched, Darris would have to pound Martin into dust within the first few minutes. Made for a short film.)

Starring Jim Carrey as Connor Martin and Sideshow Bob as Mark Steenhuis.

A Nightmare on Bay Street

If you're a Toronto Rock fan, this will be the scare-fest of the year. You will scream as Terry Sanderson is fired from his job as GM, and someone with no NLL experience is hired to take his place. Cringe in terror as Colin Doyle is inexplicably traded away for a rookie, and then that rookie is later traded away for nothing. The abject horror continues for three years as the Rock have their worst seasons in franchise history.

Viewers who haven't been NLL fans for long will be shocked at the twist ending – that this isn't a fictional horror movie at all but a historical documentary.

Starring Brad Pitt as Terry Sanderson (I know, but he doesn't look like Billy Beane either), and Pee Wee Herman as Mike Kloepfer.