Parity in the NLL: Who do we make fun of now?

The Rochester Knighthawks announced the other day that they were holding open tryouts. If you think you have what it takes, head on out and give it a shot! I jokingly tweeted that I was going to pass because I assume that one of the requirements is that you can't suck at lacrosse. I waited and waited for someone to reply telling me "It's OK if you suck at lacrosse, it's only the Knighthawks", but nobody did. But it makes sense that it didn't happen because the Knighthawks are a pretty good team. The joke just isn't as funny as it might have been if they were terrible. I thought "Now if the Philadelphia Wings had announced open tryouts, then it would be funny" – but then realized that the Wings have added Dan Dawson, Brodie Merrill, Mike Hominuck, and Dean Hill this off-season. While they were the worst team in the East last year, they weren't terrible. They also have a better-than-average goaltender so despite losing Athan Iannucci, they will likely not suck so much next year.

OK, so maybe the joke will work better with Edmonton – but hang on, they've added the aforementioned Mr. Iannucci plus half of last year's Minnesota Swarm. They lost Brodie but replaced him with Kyle Rubisch and Ryan Dilks, so the Rush may be pretty good next year as well.

This is a big problem for some of us bloggers – what team do we make fun of? What team fits the "it's only the <whatever>" joke? What team do you think "guaranteed win" whenever your team faces them? What team is the Clippers, Cubs, or Pirates of the NLL? (All right, fine, my beloved Maple Leafs are in that list too.)

We've determined that it's not the Wings or Rush. The Knighthawks finished 10-6 last year, didn't lose anyone significant over the off-season, and added Casey Powell, Mike Kirk, and Jack Reid. Not the Knighthawks. The Bandits were also 10-6, gained Kevin Buchanan but lost Chris Corbeil, and Mike Thompson may or may not be able to play this year, so they could have a problem at the goalie position. Even so, they're still a good enough team that I'd hardly make fun of them. Making fun of anything involving Darris Kilgour is likely a bad idea anyway, so not the Bandits. The Rock won the Championship last year and gained Dan Carey and Josh Sanderson. With all due respect to Matt Roik, losing Bob Watson means their goalie situation did not get better but like the Bandits, they'd have to drop a lot further before we'd make fun of them. So not the Rock.

The Mammoth started off 1-8 last year, but won four of their last seven regular season games and made the playoffs. They also added a bunch of new players – Bining, Hotaling, and Orsen from Boston, and the half of the Swarm that Edmonton didn't get, while losing only Dan Carey. I don't see the Mammoth being a powerhouse in the west this year, but they likely won't suck. So not Colorado. Washington has gone to each of the last two Championship games, and added Jamie Rooney, Kyle Ross, and Josh Wasson while only losing their backup goalie. Not a lot of analysis needed to decide that the Stealth are unlikely to suck next year. So not Washington.

Calgary was last season's Cinderella story – most picked them to finish near the bottom of the west after losing Kelusky and Sanderson, but everyone stepped up their game (particularly league MVP Jeff Shattler) and they not only won the West but finished with the best record in the league. Curtis Dickson is only going to get better, and the Roughnecks have added a good young backup goalie in Nick Rose as well as a few other former Blazers. So not Calgary. Minnesota lost a bunch of their top players – Ryan Cousins, Aaron Wilson, Sean Pollock, Rory Smith, and Jon Sullivan as well as their backup goalie Kevin Croswell. That last problem was solved by making Nick Patterson their backup goalie after they grabbed Anthony Cosmo from the Blazers. They've also added Greg Downing, Jeff Gilbert, and Mitch Belisle so they should have a pretty solid back end from the goalie position on out. Losing Wilson will hurt but they still have last year's NLL scoring leader Ryan Benesch as well as Callum Crawford so there's some offense still there. The Swarm are not going to win the west, but no team with Cosmo in net will be all that bad, so not Minnesota, though I'd say they come the closest.

OK, so we've determined that none of the teams in the NLL will completely suck next year. Thank you, Boston Blazers. So what team should NLL fans make fun of this year? Well, when you think about it, it's obvious. The Philadelphia Wings. Why? Easy.

Force of habit.